It’s You or Them! Who are you choosing?

Have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself asking the question, should I stay or leave? Some may even ask, what is the purpose of this relationship? What am I gaining, or in most cases losing?

In relationships, and when I say relationships, I am not just talking about a male and a female who have decided to intentionally date. I am also referring to two people who have decided to become friends, associates, or as some of you may call them, acquaintances. I am also making an indication to family. You know the ones that continually drain you.

There are people in your life that you are questioning the reason for the connection and there are family members that you want to take to the next level with you, but you are unsure.

Let me help you clear your mind.

In every relationship you should ask yourself the following questions:

1. How is this relationship helping you?
2. Does this relationship align with God’s plan for your life?
3. What does their heart reveal concerning you?
4. Do they present consistent negative behavior towards you?

Relationships are to be purposeful! If they are not pushing you to your purpose then what is the purpose? I am not giving the perception that every second of the day you have to be resolved to do something that requires an action plan but I am saying you should be progressing everyday. Your character should start to speak for itself in a good way, if it had not before and your bad attitude should change. There should be some things about you that begins to shift in a positive direction because of your connection to that person or people; and likewise. If your growth is being stunted during a particular relationship and you cannot move forward because they are stuck in your past,then how is this beneficial? This is only holding you back from reaching your greatest achievements.

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and hope

Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)

Gods plans for us; is to have abundance and not to live in affliction and difficulties. So why would you associate yourself with someone that is stripping you from what God has planned for your life? That is enough said in two sentences but I will continue just in case you are still unsure. If God’s plan for me is to have plenty or more than enough, and he has given me free will to make my own decisions, then why would I not choose to not align my life with the people who wants the same as me. Match my energy! My vibe! My will to go after my more and to do and become better.

Do two men walk together unless they have made an appointment?

Amos 3:3 (NASB)

You know how people speak highly of you but when you leave the room they start to talk down concerning you? They only want the best for you only if it includes them. I am not sure what type of relationships you desire but I have an aspiration for the kind that will speak my name in places I may cannot enter at the time but they have access. I do not need someone bad mouthing me to anyone. If I am doing something wrong and unpleasing hold me accountable but keep me covered!

This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far away from me

Matthew 15:8 (NASB)

This goes into their behavior towards you. Relationships are not meant to be draining and stressful. One of my favorite songs is one we used to sing in my church was “I need you to survive” by Hezekiah Walker.

“I need you, you need me. We’re all apart of God’s body. You are important to me. I love you. I pray for you, you pray for me. I won’t harm you with words from my mouth. I need you to survive.” (song lyrics, not in that order)

That’s real relationship goals and it should be reciprocated BOTH ways. Relationships are not one way streets. The same level of importance should be presented as such. Prayer for one another is essential. A person should not put out anything less than what they want to receive. Communication should not be be warranted with harmful words. One should have the ability and comfort to communicate effectively without the other feeling bashed or defeated. The feeling of not just being needed but wanted. I want you to be around and I want you included. I need you to survive any obstacle that may come to distract you because I need you to receive what God promised you.

Relationship- (noun) the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Connection- (noun) a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.

Relationships must connect. They must link together and have something else that associates them to form the connection.

If you are in a “ship” relationship, friendship, familyship, situationship, “entanglementship” I made that up… and you are not linked or making a connection; then why are you still choosing them over yourself?

Now, I am not telling you to disown your family or anyone for that matter. We have no control over what family we are placed in. We do have control over who we allow in our relationship circle. Just because I have excluded you from my circle does not determine the love I have for you. It just means you do not align with God’s plan, right now or ever. I can love you a great deal but you can be breaking up my connection. When you keep linking up with the wrong people you tend to have a break in your link. For example, you have one relationship on the left that does not reciprocate anything positive but on the right you have a two way street. You keep getting caught up on the left so you eventually lose what is on the right. You broke your good connection for a bad piece to the link.

You have to come to the realization that even though it may be hard to disconnect, especially from the ones who you have known for an extended period of time and even the ones that you are the most comfortable with; they are not strategically aligned.

My Bishop has always asked the question for over the 10 years I have known him, How bad do you want it? Your “it” being your promise, your success, your abundance.

Either choose YOU and progress forward or THEM and stay where you are!!

#lifestrategist